Rain.

.... Miri always rain recently.

Heavy rains.. 

Thunderstorms..

Lightnings..

Wet..

Damp..

Bad vision..

Caused accidents..

Cause late to work..

Cause major traffic jams..

Super windy..

Cold..

Caught with cold and feverish afterwards..

I'm not keen to rain. I like it sometimes.. Depends.. I'm not sure..

I was paranoid with heavy rains.. I was caught in a very very very very bad bad traffic jammed, heavy rains like super super super heavy with thunderstorms and windy.. So many trees were broken, caused damaged and cause more traffic jammed. Caught into flood till my car almost broke down into that small "waves" of flood because big cars just ride along and didn't consider a small car like mine. It was terrified. I am still paranoid with such rainy weathers like that. It keep on flashing back into my mind. Everytime if its raining like that.

No one was there. Only me, myself in the car, just want to go back home as fast as I could. After worked. As far as I can remember, it took me about 3 hours or more just to get home. Maybe more. I couldn't remember much. I don't feel like remembering it. My car engine was already on its sexy smoke, smelly burnt, the exhaust was already fill with water. I remember my brothers told me, my exes told me, always keep it into gear 1 at least, shift to gear 2 if possible if you see the condition is okay. Or 3. I drove a manual car, still is. No. It was Not. I was already crying all the way, scared like hell, no one. Missing home at the sudden, felt like it is the end of it. Really. I was alone. 

When I reach home during that time, I straight away went into the house and keep on saying thank you God because I am still alive. It was driving me nuts at the moment. I went down to see the car after that. Smoky engine, exhaust wet; front plat number was gone, cushions were wet. I didn't know when did I lost that plat. It must be somewhere on the road, maybe some cars have stepped on it happily too. I don't blame them though, just saying. 

I lived alone for a while, without families around, making new friends everytime I moved to another new place. It wasn't easy. Cooked alone, doing laundry alone, fixed a broken pipe alone, fixed a socket alone at home, installing the water filter like there's no tomorrow, changing the tires at the workshop alone. I don't feel secure in asking people's help sometimes. Sometimes, not all the time. This was back then.

Now, I don't feel like going out at night when it rains. If possible, I wanna stay home. If possible, during day time too. Do nothing or do somethings. Like readings, or watching tv, or do some cooking, house chores.. With bad vision at night, with such dangerous cases happening outside nowadays, coming home late, I don't like it anymore.. It doesn't feel safe. Maybe you have already drive safe, but other people might take their lives for granted and happily swift here and there as if the road is not slippery and wet. Or they just want to show off. Come on, you are not a cat. You think you have 9 lives? We cross over a cat with our cars have already caused them dead immediately. 

I am just saying. We only live once. Life is fragile and vulnerable. Time is our age. Ticking and we are running out of time for that we should not waste it. 

I am just saying. I am not keen with rainy weathers. It helps to green the earth, which I like. It makes rainbow everytime, which is a beautiful gift from God and creative Science who helped us to understand how it happen.. 

Just saying. Just some thoughts.